The Chronicles of a Christian

I'm not worth the price that was paid...

The idea of being purchased with a price really hit me tonight. I was purchased. My life is not my own. I SHOULD be a slave to Jesus Christ. He was a kind gracious “master” who doesn’t want to be my master…but a friend. I really can’t say anything profound..or even intellectual because I can’t understand it.

I in a complete state of awe. So many times I try to tell God what he wants to hear. Pastor Andrew directed me to a wonderful song…In the Silence by Jason Upton (don’t by the CD…it doesn’t do him justice…it’s a great CD but he’s so much better live).

WHY ARE WE LYING TO GOD? Do we honestly think that he doesn’t know that we’re lying. Get real…that was the point of P. Andrew’s message. (a great one by the way)

Over the summer is the hardest time spiritually for me. I don’t have my job as a youth leader keeping me accountable…and I busy myself with friends, television…and I stray away from the Word and spend time with God only on Sundays. All summer I was going to start devotions “tomorrow”.

One of the things I've..not really struggled with...but it's bothered me is...Growing up in a Pentecostal Church I've seen God's "power". Honestly I doubt some of the practices in the Pentecostal Church..speaking in tounges being the main one. I do believe that speaking in tounges is a spiritual gift that SOME people posses. I DO NOT believe that speaking in tounges is something that you do if you are more spiritual than someone else. I really feel as if the church I was in abused it. I kinda blame my situation on that. I feel like I kinda restrict myself in worship because I NEVER want to be someone who raises their hands because it's the chorus..or someone who cries everytime there's a piano solo...someone who fakes it. I don't want to be someone who does something because I was told..but because I feel led to. I have such a hard time taking my eyes off the people. I'm so afraid that someone is going to think that I'm just being "spiritual" and that it's not true worship...so afraid in fact that it leads me to stop worshiping...which leads to just being "spiritual"...

My biggest issue is getting my eyes off the people.

I use to love the Pentecostal church because I thought it was so free...but the freedom that I wanted has become my chains. (Another great message from one of MW's Pastor's)...

posted by Krystle @ 12:19 a.m.