"I wish I knew how to quit you..."
A famous line from the famous movie Brokeback Mountain. Although I have not seen the movie, I still have heard that. Weird how that happens eh?I was reading today in Jeremiah Chapter 2 and a verse popped out at me.
Jeremiah 2: 24-25
"..On the hunt for sex, sex and more sex--insatiable, indiscriminate, promiscuous. Slow down. Take a deep break. What's the hurry? Why wear yourself out? Just what are you after anyway? But you say, 'I can't help it. I'm addicted to alien gods. I can't quit.' "
(Passage taken from the Message by Eugene Peterson)
Although these aren't the direct words, they still resonate within me that they have similar meanings.
Sometimes I just can't quit. Basketball, one of my most beloved sports, it's hard for me to quit. Sin, sometimes I just can't quit...and although I know HOW to quit sinning..I just don't sometimes "I wish I knew how to quit you.." (you being sin)
Right now...it's a rough time for me. I seem to be the type of person that doesn't know how to change something until I reach a desperation point. That it can get really bad but until I reach the point where I am super desperate..there's no changes in my life. With my "unmentionable sin" (because I am to embarassed to tell anyone except for two people and for those of you who care it's been 36 weeks since my last episode) I was at the point where I said God..if you don't fix me..I'm not going to school next year. I'm going to a place downstate and I'm gonna get myself some help. Oddly...God fixed me. But I was desperate.
Now, I'm slowly getting to a point in my life where I'm desperate again. I'm desperate to get this heavy weight off my shoulders. I'm desperate to do be a better youth leader. I'm desperate to get back into grace again.
I just wish I knew how to quit you...
posted by Krystle @ 10:52 p.m.
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