Rejection
I have a friend. A really great friend. He's one of the few people in this world that I absolutely love unconditionally, but I rarely see him.Not that he lives far away, but I just don't see him.
Not that I don't have transportation, I just don't see him.
Honestly, the most memorable times of my life have been with him, and every single time we hang out my heart beams. But I just don't see him..
So you're probably wondering why the heck I don't go and see a guy who I love so much.
On occasion I do see him and the prelude to our meetings my stomach is in knots the entire time, and I'm constantly worrying. Worrying about what will happen, what won't happen and I have a list of topics to bring up incase there's dead space, even though when we're finally together, the list is thrown out the window and God molds our conversation entirely.
Today I figured out why I don't go see him often.
I'm afraid he'll reject me.
Yes, that's right..rejection.
One of my largest fears (yes I'm a baby..I have many fears) is rejection, and I'll do anything to avoid it, or reduce my chances.
Including not seeing one of my best friends.
I'm not sure if it's the fact that he has carisma or the fact that he's beautiful, but there's something about him that if he were to reject me then my heart would be broken in two. This fear keeps me from him, and from being one of the best frineds that he's ever had.
Please know, dear friend, that it's not anything you have done that keeps me from you. It's my inhabitions, and my fears, that drive me away from the most intense passionate relationship I've ever enjoyed.
posted by Krystle @ 4:24 p.m.
1 Comments:
Aw snap, fear is a powerful enemy...ruins oppurtunities. Its crazy, because of some shnazz that happened in the past, for about 3 years I basically cut off all encounters with the female relations short for a while...wouldnt risk myself to any of the bull-s that comes with it...then recently I had an oppurtunity to get closer, alot closer, to a friend I had known for a long time who I loved and respected alot. I knew if I didnt take the chance, Id lose out on something God was really trying to bless me with in my life. He gives us oppurtunities n blessings (sometimes in the form of people we care about) but if we dont take the chance, our oppurtunities and blessings turn into dry rot. Your awesome, so kick this "fear of rejection" right in the teeth and jump on that!
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