Me
So tonight, at church, I was standing there and realized. I haven't lost my passion...but I realized that Christianity is something that makes sense in my head (believe it or not) but has recently lost the affect in my heart.I've been told by a wise elder of my old church who I admire and respect deeply. That sometimes I try to force my growth. From here I digress into my own words. That I have a tendency to take my spiritual growth into my own hands and try to force the issue. That I try to live a blameless life.
This is all well said and done but I'm missing out on my relationship with my creator.
Think of this. If you were able to go and create cars for Henry Ford or go and talk to him about personal things which would you rather do? Frig! I'd take socializing any day!
Why is it so hard to talk to God? I know there are many different forms of talking to God...writing letters (which I have done), singing (which I have done)..with all degrees of success..but when it comes down to stripping it all away..and just coming to God I can't do that. I try, but I feel like I'm talking to air. I feel bad because people that I've told that I'll pray for...aren't getting the prayer that they need. They're names have been softly tucked away in my journal with hopes that one day their needs will be met.
A song we sang tonight in church (Child of God) says "your arms enfold me" and honestly that's what I have to allow God every night in church to do. Enfold me. Originally I thought of this word had the same meaning as unfold, but enfold is the exact opposite. God's arms unfolding me means, He's wrapping His arms around me and just holding me.
I love my God....
Krystle
At the foot of the cross grace and judgement meet....
posted by Krystle @ 10:36 p.m.
2 Comments:
I was recently at a conference thingy in Saint Jeorge or some town like that, and one of the speakers quoted something Mother Theresa said about prayer. When asked how she prayed she answered, "I mostly listen...and you know what...God mostly listens too."
Now, I do admit that I am tired and straining these thoughts out of my head like a juicer, so thats more than likely not her EXACT phrasing, but thats the basic of what she said. It made alot of sence to me...especially with my prayer. Sometimes I go for long walks when the rest of the world seems to be asleep...and I ask him to use it and bless it as a time of worship...usually I dont say anything and I try not to think too much...and it refills me spiritually.
i do a lot of my prayer while driving to work on Saturday mornings... especially if im stressing out... lol... and most of the time... im point blank with God... im not mushy and wishy washy because God isnt that way... everyone paints the picture that God is sweet and innocent... and he is... but people forget how angry and jealous he can get... a jealous God is not good... :P.. i mean yes my God is caring and loving...but he also wants all of our attention and wants either all of us...or none of us... sounds harsh and it is but thats what he wants from us... what a little sacrifce compared to the one he gave us...
Anyways... i say all that to say that prayer is what you make of it... i mean pray everyday but it doesnt have to be all talking, it can be listening.. which we all have to do.. try sitting in the silence or just rant to God... lol i do that a lot! :P... its nice because hes up there listening and he actually understands us... unlike the people here on Earth who dont understand sometimes.
You have to find what works best for you and God... i mean he's is there all the time...but maybe there is a certain place where everytime you're there.. you justs feel him.. or maybe there is a place that brings peace... go there pray there read there....
love you, ill be posting a new post soon
Gabby
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